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1-800-help?

Looking up from the poker table in a Las Vegas casino, she saw a sign that said "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."

She dialed the number and said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has an ace and a seven. What should I do?"

About That Sign

"What happened?" said the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.

"I decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but I couldn't make it out."

"I decided to go around again, but we went by so quickly I still couldn't read it. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view."

"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor.

"Yeah. It said 'Don't stand up in the car.'"